I'm rising to the challenge to raise money for Sport Relief (OMG how brave am I? lolol!!!)

I'm getting involved because Sport Relief is all about using everything that's good about sport to change lives for the better. All the money raised is spent by Comic Relief to help people living really tough lives at home in the UK and across the world's poorest countries.

I'd really appreciate your support by sponsoring me to take part. If you'd like to make a secure online donation, you can use your credit card by clicking on the link below:

http://www.mysportrelief.com/lucymariael?SID=3242


Luce xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

...has been a bit mental lol. One of the nurses has been off sick so I've spent a lot of the week in with a dentist that I haven't worked with before . It's not been bad though to be honest. I was really nervous about going in on my own with someone when I've never worked there before and wasn't really sure how they worked. I was terrified to be honest. I so wanted to cry but I was brave, I did it and have picked things up quickly. I had actually grown quite confident working with him by the end of the week and was really proud of myself yay. I nearly burnt a load of instruments in the steriliser cos I wasn't sure how to fill it up or tell when it was empty but it was all taken in good spirits cos I wouldn't have known and everyone laughed at me for it in the end cos I stunk the whole building out. I think I'm getting a reputation as a ditz already hehe. I think it was the fact I was nearly collapsed in giggles that did it for everyone else hehe. I even mocked my dentist! Was quite proud actually for this week cos to be so scared and then to do it all okay and have a proper sense of what I'm doing is wicked! The dentist I was with even reckons I show good promise in this job yay!!!

In other news I love the people I work with! They're all doing their best to include me in things now and its awesome. I have an invite for paintballing, am doing a children in need quiz with them, I'm going shopping at Bluewater in November and I've been invited for a chinese and a night out. I also do fitness class on a Monday night with one of the girls I work with who I now get on with really well and who thinks I'm a laugh to hang with as does one of the other girls there who I might be getting a flat with. We're gonna start doing two classes a week soon which is good cos it gets me out of the house and allows me to work off the unhealthy food I've been eating such as the gorgeous chips and curry sauce I had for my lunch today hehe!

Anyways theres not much else to say. I'm still missing Dean. We have been seeing each other a few times but its gonna be less and less now cos I have more of a social life and he's working nights still. The times we have seen each other have been really nice and we've been talking about getting back together because we miss each other but I've said if we do he's gonna have to have a major chat with my mother because theres not much love lost between the pair of them and I'm stuck in the middle. He seems to be a bit reluctant about that but he says he misses me so it's just a wait and see job really. There's every chance we'll just drift apart now I have my own life. I have a life! Yay!!!

Tags: exercise, relationships, work
Current Location: my room
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Linkin Park

That I'm going to ring up the hospital tommorow and see if they want any volunteers on the childrens ward on a saturday morning. I know they were saying in the paper a little while ago that they had people come in to read to the children and I'd love to do that. It'd give me something worthwhile to do and get me out of the house and I'm not too tired after working in the week to do it so yeah. Think thats what I'm gonna do!

In other news I now have black hair. Yup its jet black instead of red and its all been cut too and is now shoulder length and layered so now it's a lot less messy and a lot lighter. The people at work will get a shock when I go in tommorow hehe.

I'm also trying to decide what to do to get myself out more. I wanna get an i card and do fitness classes and the gym but that might have to wait until I have learnt to drive as I'm going to have tons of problems getting anywhere. I asked my dad nicely if he'd take me to one fitness class a week. At the moment I'm just trying to decide which to go to. I'm torn between kick aerobics, ballet and circuit training or somethin like that. I'm deffinately going to do ballet in the future. Thats a total given. I'm nervous about going alone though but I reckon it'd be fun! Again I might wait till I can drive and just do a cheaper kick aerobics class until then.

Tags: life, volunteering
Current Location: My room
Current Mood: okay

That some of my fellow con partay animals lived in Ipswich. Theres a ladies night at a local club on Friday with male strippers and everything and my god I wanna go lolol!!!

Tags: cons
Current Location: My room
Current Mood: awake

The other day I had a well bad head for two days solid. It started off in the right side of my head one night, then moved to the middle, yesterday I kept getting stabbing pains in my cheeks and now I have bloody sinusitus. Its like loads of pressure behind my cheeks and in my nose. Its typical one of the girls at work had it and I was like ooo I haven't had that for ages but I get it bad and now I've got it bad gahhh! And I have no sudafed dammit!!! I always get it this time of year! My mum reckons its allerfies to do with my cat or bird!!!

In other news just spent the afternoon in town. I got bored of just sitting at home online so decided that as I'm getting paid soon I'm gonna treat myself to some new make up so off I toddled and went and got some Maybelline cream blush which is really sweet in the colour dolly pink and I got some foundation. Also got a breast cancer support badge and wandered around our local park in town which is really nice, and got followed by a squirrel I named Frank lol. Seriously he was so cute. He followed me down the path and then when I stopped he stopped and looked before he started following me again. Also was amazred to find a pair of trousers I liked on sale for £3.00 in New Look but they were too big dammit. I am no longer a size 12. I have officially shrunk!!!

Tags: life, sick, squirrels
Current Location: My room
Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: Something There - Beauty And The Beast

Hello to anyone keeping up with my escapades hehe.

I have now done my first full week at my job! It's still goin well and I'm still enjoying it which is really cool. I'm doing quite well at aspirating now, which scared the absolute shit outta me on my first week and I can mix fillings and everything now too with just a little bit of help but I am getting wy more confident which i'm liking.

There have been times when I've been on my own working with the dentist rather than the dentist and another nurse and have been mixing fillings etc with just a little guidance so I've been quite proud of myself this week especially as I haven't been there very long yet. Receptions a lot easier now I kinda know what I'm doing too and I'm not as shy on the phone or dealing with the patients anymore even the cute ones like one we had in yesterday hehe. I'm getting on well with the people too. I'm still a bit shy around them. They have no idea how giggly or bubbly I am yet because I'm still settling and so don't talk as much as I normally would, but I have settled enough to chat to them about all kinds of things and have a laugh which is nice.

The hygienist there was shocked when I sponsored her a tenner for a tandem sky dive for the Cystic Fibrosis Trust. I sponsored more than the other nurses and she came to tell me it was too much but I wanted to donate it cos a lot of people on here who've known me from Gatecon and everythin know how much raising money for the Cystic Fibrosis charities means to me as I already donate monthly so yeah she was shocked about that.

I've been invited to a hen night in a couple of years when one of the girls gets married and we've already suggested a karaoke for everyone during a fun filled conversation about sexy singers and music hehe. Sometimes I get nervous that the other people there don't really like me because of my low self esteem. I always worry that people don't really like me so I get a bit nervous being somewhere new. I got a bit overwhelmed the other day cos I'd had a two day headache and I was knackered and the girl I train with had to go home sick because she really wasn't very well. I was on my own with the dentist and at one point he got a little sarcastic with me about something we had to do later on in the day which I had no clue how to do. It didn't help that it woulda been my years anniversary with Dean either and I just got a bit upset cos I felt overwhelmed, emotional and crap. I was all right in the end though and the dentist was alright with me when I came back from my break. I even managed to help fit a veneer on someones teeth with just a little guidance from him which was cool. I felt quite accomplished after that!

Yesterday was a quiet day. I worked with the dental nurse I been training with since I started and the dentist and we had a laugh cos it was really quiet. I had to go to Occupational Health at the hospital in the middle of my shift to get my hepatitis B injection and a blood test which excited me lol...not. My friends mum did it though so it was nice to have a chat during injections though there were probs finding a vain in one of my arms so now I have bruises on both arms from blood tests and a sore arm where I had my hepatitis injection. I have to go back in November to have what will hopefully be my last injection and another blood test. I then went back to work and did reception in the afternoon which was quite a giggle too.

Got a text after a week of not talking from my ex on what woulda been our first anniversary. He was texting to see how I was cos plenty of people kept asking him after I went into B&Q last week and said hi to some people and he didnt know. I texted back to let him know but the funny thing is, only a week after all the crap I've realised I really don't need him anymore. I have my own life now which he lost the right to be part of. I do miss him a little. I miss the whole being in a couple thing, but theres no point being with someone just for the sake of being with someone if the relationship is wrong is there? I'm terrified of never finding anyone else though cos I'm not really that social. Now I'm just trying to figure out what to do with my life. I spent last night trying to figure out where I want to go with it and what I wanna do in my spare time to get out and meet people. I want so much to start living my life but its knowing what to do and where to start. Sometimes I just feel so boring and friendless! The girls where I work are quite social so I'm hoping with time I get to be included in what they do though I know it's too soon right now. I'd like to join a choir, to get fit, to join a theatre group...theres so much I wanna do but I'm a bit scared really of all the newness and I don't know where to start. I'm just so terrified of ending up a complete loner. Even though I get on with people really well and have lots of lovely friends from cons I'm still terrified.

I'm thinking if I can I'm gonna stay at Staffa Lodge for a couple of years to get my dental nurse badge and then if I still have no ties and am still brave I'm going to join the RAF and train as a hygenist in there and then work in the Air Force. I'd get fit, meet people and have a decent career that I can do when I come out and I'd get to travel. I like where I am now too much to go and do my dental nurse training in there now lol.

Anyways enough of my randomness. That was a looong entry so I won't subject you to anymore. Must just say though oh my gosh Hollyoaks last night was so sad! Poor Sophie and Mel! awwww!!!! and I'm working on an Adama and Roslin ficcy! I got my Battlestar Season 2 DVDs last week and am so loving them. I ship for so many couples lolol.

Well TTFN xxx

Tags: life, relationships, work
Current Location: My room
Current Mood: okay

Just went into B&Q where I used to work and it was so weird. There were hardly any customers there and hardly any staff that I knew. Got a few hugs. One off my mate Bry who I got on well with when I was there, one off Steve the electrician who could be a bit of a prat (and was excited about the idea of me in a uniform lol) and another off Mark who is a manager that I used to get on with really well who was being all smug cos I chatted about how I used to get on with him really well to my friends who I went out for a meal with last night. The weird part was a couple of people were a bit rude. One just stared at me and said nothing, and the other one who was my old supervisor was speaking to me a bit off. Thing is she'd been going round the store after I reapplied there telling people that I'd just leave again and so I think that was part of the reason I wasn't reemployed when I needed help. Dean, my ex, went and asked her about it and she denied it, but I'd been told by a close friend that she'd been saying stuff. She just spoke to me really oddly. She said I'd lost weight and Mark defended me saying that I hadn't and she was just weird. Grrrr! It's put me in a weird mood now lolol.

Current Location: My room
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Jo O'Meara - What Hurts The Most

Tonight was really nice. After a morning in a depressed mood I wandered around town and got myself some trousers for work and bits I needed for my animals and bits to keep myself pretty hehe. Then I came home for an hour or so before getting ready to go out for a meal with my friends Ben and Dea. It was really nice. Only prob was I missed one bus cos it was early and then the next bus was late and I got blown around in gale force winds at the bus stop lol but the meal was really nice and a proper giggle and I had a really good time. Tis always nice to hang out with Ben and Dea. We always have a laugh and loads to chat about so yeah I had a wicked time. Plus Dea was awesome and got me some really prettiful Disney Princess bracelets including the awesome Belle and a Tinkerbelle glass with a twisty straw which is pink and soooo cool. Also got me an amazing Belle card which I looooooove. So yep after the depression this morning I've had a good meal, a huge dessert which caused people at another table to laugh at the three of us trying to eat it, good company, alcoholic beverages and Disney goodness hehe. Tis all good :)

Tags: disney, friends, meal
Current Location: My bedroom
Current Mood: cheerful

I am now officially peeing my pants about starting my new job tommorow. I am sooooooooo nervous it's unbelieveable. I've been nervous for like a whole week but today its been so much worse. I can't even play on my brothers Nintendo DS cos I'm so terrified. I so hope this is the start of a run of good luck for a change. Meeting new people is deffinately terrfying!!! Gahhh! Good luck vibes...please?!?!

Tags: fear, life, work
Current Location: My room
Current Mood: scared
Current Music: Lemar - Time To Grow